We Didn’t Start the Lockout

If you enjoy classic rock at all, chances are you like Billy Joel. If you like Billy Joel, chances are you have at least heard of the song “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” What follows is my re -imagined version of that famous song, complete with NBA lockout jargon, jokes, persons of interest and more. I tried to get in everybody and everything I could think of, but if I missed someone or something important, I apologize. If you follow along with the lyrics and sound things out phonetically where I indicated, I promise everything works on rhythm. Enjoy.

Derek Fisher’s here to say, we’re not getting NBA.
Disclaim union, file lawsuit, to the courts we go.
Jeffrey Kessler, David Boi-es, Second Circuit, with the lawyers,
Antitrust for treble damage, how will it all go?

Time to deal? Day’s gone, Stick to po-ems. Kay, Etan?
Michael Jordan’s hardline, MLE for Sarver’s wife.
Kobe Bryant, Italy. Can’t make money? Sell your team.
Basketball is disappearing, I can’t help but wonder why.

CHORUS

We didn’t start the lockout,
It was all the players,
They make too much money.
We didn’t start the lockout,
It was all the owners,
They were just so greedy.

Blake Grif-fin on Mozgov, Not this year the season’s off.
We won’t see a Duncan banker or a Howard block.
Steve Nash, all alone. Dirk Nowitzki stays home.
Da-vid Stern stalled, now were out of clock.

Prokhorov, Jay-Z, When will Brooklyn get a team?
Henry Abbott, Howard Beck, David Aldridge, Sheridan.
Zach Lowe, Alan Hahn, Mutant Pizza, it’s all gone.
At the Waldorf, up all night. Did I get that quote right?

CHORUS

We didn’t start the lockout,
It was o-ver nothing,
And we lost the sea-son.
We didn’t start the lockout,
They just could-nt settle,
A-gents had to med-dle.

Adam Silver cat-ching flak, Talking points repeated back.
Gilbert, Hardline 9, Stare into Paul Allen’s eyes.
Rookie scale, have a ball, Sac-ra-men-to Kings fall.
All the players at his side, JaVale McGee should run and hide.

Steve Aschburner, Berger, HP b-ball, Ric Bu-cher.
Play-er rep, No-show, Boozer of Chicago.
How u, COUNT THE RINGS, You got LeBron or Kobe?
Have a sea-son? Hell no. NHL route we will go.

CHORUS

We didn’t start the lockout,
No more basketball,
They don’t care at all.
We didn’t start the lockout,
It was David Stern and
It was Billy Hunter.

Cha-ri-ty, Live streams, Sixty-Five from K. Durant,
Ruc-ker, Good-man, Brandon Jen-nings said he’s in.
Larry Coon, Dan Devine, Ziller take downs on the side,
Baron Davis huge beard, all this stuff is getting weird.
Chris Paul, Player X, Checketts says the lockout ends,
DDL, This is hell, when will all the madness end?

CHORUS

We didn’t start the lockout,
You pissed off the fans,
Cause you sat on your hands.
We didn’t start the lockout,
It wound up in court,
Now we’ll all be bored.

Two weeks canceled yet again, when will it be back again?
No Z-Bo, On the block, Not even a shot clock.
Hit-ting the gym, Rise and grind, Owners on the hardline,
Bil-ly Hunter showed his hand, David Stern is eff-ing mad.

Fif-ty/Fif-ty, BRI, Now that offer goes goodbye.
MLE for $3 or $5, Room teams? $2 point 5.
NBA exists no more, Try some hockey if you’re bored?
Dav-id Stern o-pen the doors, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

We didn’t start the lockout,
It was all the players,
They make too much money.
We didn’t start the lockout,
It was all the owners,
And it still goes on and on and on and on…

We didn’t start the lockout,
It was o-ver nothing,
And we lost the sea-son.
We didn’t start the lockout,
They just could-nt settle,
A-gents had to med-dle.

We didn’t start the lockout,
You pissed off the fans,
Cause you sat on your hands.
We didn’t start the lockout…

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6 thoughts on “We Didn’t Start the Lockout

  1. This is amazing. Only thing memorable missing is the NBA cameramen “fight”.

  2. Jared Dubin says:

    Thanks, Jake. I did try to get the cameraman fight in there but couldn’t make it work.

  3. Joe Perez says:

    Even the 1998-99 Lockout wasn’t this fun. Thank GOD for modern technology. Now if I can back track to that time and try to remember what I was @#&* doing oh yeh I was just retiring from the military and telling my fellow shipmates that the SAS were about to win the first NBA title and that GWB jr was going to be the next President, they just laugh, but I had the last laugh. Excellent Post.

  4. [...] The guys at Outside the Arc.com (Hat tip: Pounding the Rock.com) provide the fans’ anthem “We Didn’t Start the Lockout.” [...]

  5. [...] injury overseas 9) Try to get out of overseas contract 10) Get your name mentioned in a Billy Joel parody 11) Dunk in a fancy suit 12) Recertify Union 13) Sign [...]

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